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The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

Sep 14, 2020

No matter how uncertain your year or your life has become, resilience is one thing we can all be certain of no matter our circumstances. My guest today is living proof of that fact. Known as the “Queen of Resilience,” Stacey Copas has created a framework of resilience based on the life experience of overcoming the adversity of becoming quadriplegic at 12 years old. I am thrilled that she has joined me today and I know you are going to come away from our conversation ready to take on the world. We discuss simple ways to develop greater resilience, how resilience can change the story of your life for the better, and the one popular piece of advice about developing gratitude that drives her crazy (and what she does instead).


Today we discuss —

Are we born resilient?

  • Resilience is a continuum that shifts based on our life experiences and the work we put into developing it.
  • Resiliency requires our effort every single day.
  • Rituals for resilience will increase our feeling of control and certainty.
  • Daily journaling provides the opportunity to rewrite experiences. Start with the prompt “Today I had the opportunity to.”
  • Stacey’s experience with the 2014 Australian Athletics Championship taught her that she could decide how she would feel about the embarrassing, challenging, and defining moments in her life.

How can we increase our resilience?

  • Focus on what you want to have or to gain rather than what you might lose.
  • View every experience you have as an opportunity.
  • Be mindful of sarcasm — it is a dangerous coping mechanism.
  • Be grateful for the experiences you are having as you are having them.
  • Identify what you need to learn in each moment and how it can improve both your life and the lives of others.
  • Be clear about what you want and conscious of how you are presenting it to the world.

Three resilience questions to ask yourself

  • What did I have the opportunity to do today?
  • What is the lesson I will learn from this experience?
  • How can this experience help others?

Practices to help you develop gratitude

  • A gratitude journal may not be the most effective way to develop gratitude.
  • Try out Stacey’s mantra to help increase your daily gratitude.
  • Identify the opportunities that you’ve been given and stay true to them to increase your credibility to yourself.
  • Make your gratitude practices non-negotiable — and always keep that commitment to yourself.

Resilience wisdom from Stacey

  • You can choose if your life is going to be viewed as a comedy or a tragedy.
  • Say yes to good things and then figure out the details later.
  • Regret things you did, not the things you didn’t do.
  • Take the first step and trust that the path will appear before you.
  • Be willing to collect experiences — even if they scare you.


Stacey’s book recommendation is The Mastery of Love, by Don Miguel Ruiz

Stacey’s song choices are “I Won’t Back Down,” by Tom Petty and “Roll With It,” by Oasis


Learn More:

Advocate to Win

The Elegant Warrior Playlist on Spotify

Free One-Hour Consult

Advocate for Yourself 10-Week Course

Subscribe to Weekly Newsletters

Stacey Copas

How To Be Resilient: The Blueprint For Getting Results When Things Don’t Go To Plan,
by Stacey Copas

Resilience Academy


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