Aug 10, 2020
How do you talk to
yourself? Are you as kind and understanding of yourself as you are
to everyone else? We know that our thoughts lead to our emotions,
but what if you could change your thoughts before they had a chance
to impact the way you feel? The conversations you have with your
inner jury are the most important conversations you have, and the
way you talk to yourself can help or hurt you as you deal with all
of the emotions, including anxiety and depression and especially in
the current climate of COVID-19. My guest today is full of valuable
advice to help you thrive through this difficult time and to
recognize the power of truly feeling all of your emotions. I’m
joined by cognitive behavioral therapist and host of the
Kimberley Quinlan, to talk about refining your inner voice,
celebrating your emotions, and how to recognize if you have anxiety
or depression or if you're just feeling stressed out with all that
life is throwing at you.
Today we discuss —
Understanding the thoughts that lead to anxiety and
- Errors in our thinking about how we exist in
our lives include irrational thoughts about the world and include
black and white thinking such as “I have to be perfect” or “I am a
- Errors in our thinking about our sense of
coping, such as “I can’t handle this” or “I won’t survive this,”
often lead to depression.
thoughts have a great impact on your emotions, but you can control
their power by addressing the things that you do have control
Correcting your self-talk
power statements such as “I will do the best with what I have” or
“I will use this opportunity to master what I’m going
a compassionate and understanding tone with yourself will make a
huge difference in the outcome of an experience.
self-critical is demotivating, not inspiring.
- Employ a “kind coach” to validate your pain and
encourage you, along the way.
- Remember specific instances of difficult
experiences you’ve thrived through to help you thrive
- Recognize the difficulty of experiences to help
correct your thinking about current challenges.
- Little tweaks in the tone you use with yourself
can make a huge difference in how you experience your
Celebrating all of the emotions
- Fight, flight, or freeze is a natural response
to stress and anxiety, but you have to keep each of them in check
in order to keep moving forward.
and sadness are celebrated emotions that encourage safety and
connectedness to others, but anxiety addresses not only dangers but
the possibility of dangers in everyday situations.
- If we
don’t experience the hard emotions we can’t truly celebrate the
is a lot of loss associated with COVID-19 and it’s essential to
experience the grief.
disregard your feelings, rather accept what is and validate what is
happening for you right now.
brains are malleable and reversible, which means we can change our
brains to think better thoughts than they naturally tend
- Mindfulness means being present and aware in
this moment without judgment.
- Petting your cat or taking a shower are
examples of valuable mindfulness.
- Quality interactions come from genuine
you can’t make connections with loved ones, find connections by
being mindful and present in this moment.
Kimberley’s book recommendation
How to Love (Mindfulness
Kimberley’s song choice
is “True Colors,” by Justin Timberlake and Anna
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