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The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

Aug 14, 2023

Today’s guest is Cait Donovan. Cait Donovan is a Keynote speaker, one of New York City's leading burnout experts, host of “Fried – The Burnout Podcast,” author of the book "The Bouncebackability Factor", and an acupuncturist with a master's degree in Chinese medicine. 

This was a great conversation about burnout, resentment, and boundaries. We discussed:

  • Feeling not good enough. 2:00
    • The biggest component of burnout is feelings of not being enough.
  • What does burnout mean to you? 4:18
    • Burnout is when the pilot light in the body goes too low and there is not enough energy to sustain normal functioning, rejuvenation, etc.
    • The feeling of not being enough is part of burnout, and being too much is also part of it.
  • The difference between burnout and stress. 9:21
    • Stress and burnout are a continuum. Burnout is the far end of chronic unmitigated stress, while stress is healthy and good when it is not chronic.
    • Resentment is the number one tool for keeping yourself out of burnout. It is one of the main tools that she teaches people.
  • More on resentment
    • If you pay close attention to resentments objectively, you will notice that each and every zone of your life where your boundaries are being crossed.
  • Boundaries make you more generous and more forgiving. 17:00
    • When boundaries are in place, the places that you enjoy being generous are available to you and you can use them.
  • What does it mean to honor your calendar? 19:03
    • The importance of honoring appointments and paying yourself back
    • What resentment feels like to Cait
  • How to set boundaries when you feel resentment. 20:48
    • When she feels resentful, it is because she is over giving and feeling like she is doing the same thing.
    • When there is a mismatch in a relationship and resentment is building up, ask yourself a few questions to sort through what is really going on.
    • For some of us and even relationships, we bounce before sending a boundary because we are afraid of setting a boundary.
  • How to avoid burnout? 26:04
    • Finding the balance between bringing resources in and only releasing the resources that are available.
    • If one does not learn in one area of their life, they can leave whatever relationship or job they want and take it with them to another place.
  • What is the first step to identifying your resentments? 28:26
    • Identifying resentments is one of the first steps when people come to work with you, because they are the signposts.


Here’s a link to Cait’s mini-course on resentments! 



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The Elegant Warrior Podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. It is not a substitute for the advice of a physician, a lawyer, a professional coach, a therapist or other qualified professionals.